Life would be different

submitted by he/him EN
Life would be different
58
501

Log in to comment

58 Comments

Also, what if it wasn’t clipped short. Instead, you could grow it out a little to have a built in baseball cap

But which way would it grow?



You hit the nail on the head.

Our largest predator would be a hammerhead shark.



You just sold me.

Woah, are you saying viral.vegabond is a human trafficker?



Remember to look down when filing it, though. Don’t want to get scalp nail in your eyes.

True, nobody likes it when they get scalp nail in their eyes. Lol



Extreme convenience. How cursed our biology is to have robbed us of this functionality

On the other hand, we’ve also never had to deal with an ingrown headnail, so small mercies.



People probably would attach ornaments to the grown head nail.

Would you use a giant nail-polish brush or use the little ones to do elaborate artwork?

Giant, gotta get shit done. Lol



like piercings or something, kind of?



And you could like carve it into cool shapes or harden it into a head spike for killing rich people.

I like where you’re going with this.



Yay. no sun in my eyes.

Painting it would be an option too. Or sharpening it. The possibilities are endless!!

Sharpening it so you can headbutt someone else in a human mating ritual lol .

Yes, definitely something one -could- do…






I’ve had nightmares about these…


I came to the comments expecting literally this exact screenshot



Ingrown headnail

Just decapitate me at that point





Life would be different if we pooped out of our mouths like a sea cucumber.

Life would be different if we threw out babies at predators when startled, like quokka



We’d probably fight more with headbutts than with punches. Boxing would be cray. Safety equipment probably would be different.


I would say OP hit the nail on the head here. It would be different.


Those nail clippers are going to be huge.

Although I guess that “hair stylists” would get replaced with nail techs. Head Nail styles would be crazy.


They’d probably use saws or grinders at that scale

I almost exclusively use a coarse file for my toenails so they don’t break weird and get ingrown



Hmmm make it a big toe nail so it gets yellow and thick and accumulates cheese underneath so I can scrape and eat on the go.


Magpies wouldn’t feel so smug that’s for sure.


Natural helmet


Showers, barbers, and fights will all be different…. As will clothes, probably the skin colour of our faces. Our digestive systems might be different (from consuming nail stuff during famines). Our vision may be different.

Torture would be different. Gender, because we’d likely all paint our nails. Tool use might have different origins. We’d likely move different, and perhaps have different neck muscles and bone structure.

Basically we probably wouldn’t recognize the new society. It would be alien to us.

Mortal kombat fatality animations would be different


I’m uncomfortable with you using “will” in that first sentence.

The crab people are cumming.




Amogus

Sus.



Nail salons would be booming


Imagine having a giant ingrown nail on your head. Yeah, no thanks.

Or itchy nail fungus.



Nothin a bit of phenol couldn’t take care of.

…well, maybe a lot of phenol. And a crowbar.


Kryten?


Do you think we’d get sunburn under the nail?

Is it possible to get sunburned under your regular nails?

According to Google, yes. :(

I don’t trust google. Ask someone in real life and get back to me. Lol



With powerful enough radiation, you can get a sunburn through your whole body =D

That being said, keratin doesn’t seem to absorb UV (A or B) very well so probably: https://www.npsg.uwaterloo.ca/data/skin.php




Would hair nail thinning or balding still exist?

What would that look like?

You hâve to go to the nail dresser too. If you nailr is too long you can’t lay flat and sleep.

Are you having a stroke?

Was laughing. My bad. I trieddto correct





Insert image