Icon for Humor@lemmy.world

Humor

!humor@lemmy.world

Hot
New Old Active
Hot
New Old Active
Posts Comments
List Tile Wide tile Reel

Might shouldn't make right, but

by
EN
*PAST TENSE* Can - Could Will - Would May - ??? Might or Mould
3
37

But reading will help with that, I'd like to propose that: The Revolution should be educated!

by
EN
Cartoon of the Peanuts with one child, in class, saying to the other, "No one is going to give you the education you need to overthrow them.
3
124

Well, it's not JUST stuff, it's stuff within stuff within stuff

by
EN
Writers explaining their story In their head: complex, emotional masterpiece Out loud: so... stuff happens
0
11

This is the kind of challenge we like around here 😁

by
EN
Caption: MY FRIEND: YOU CAN'T FINISH A BOOK IN A DAY Reply: Photo of Shaggy from the Scooby-Doo movie, "Are you challenging me?"
0
10

I mean, I won't say no because books should be shared

by
EN
Meme with Joey from Friends looking relaxed and worried. Relaxed: "Your book collection is great!" Worried: "Can I borrow your books?"
3
49

What's the best practical joke you played at work?

by
EN

TL;DR: I created a rumor that our company was being bought out, which by sheer coincidence had implications at the CEO level.

49
149

I mean, Hebden Bridge does sound a lot more fun

by
EN
Photo of a little book house on which someone has put an angry note reading: WHOEVER IS PLACING THE COPYS OF PORNOGRAPHIC LITERATURE IN HERE, STOP! CORNHOLME IS A GOOD GOD FEARING CHRISTIAN VILLAGE. IF THIS FILTH IS TO YOUR LIKING MAY WE SUGGEST THAT YOU MOVE TO THE CESS PIT THAT IS HEBDEN BRIDGE! Captioned: I don’t know about you, but I'm off to Hebden Bridge!
17
116

If you think you can beat nature at the game of horror, you're gonna have a bad time!

by
EN
Photo captioned: "This beehive that replaced a statue's head" Reply by Saira: what in the resident evil is this
2
109

Priced for Perfection

by
EN
0
37

My neighbor was told that to succeed in life, you have to fight hard!

by
EN

My neighbor was told that to succeed in life, you have to fight hard! 😂

4
6

As an opening line this is hard to beat 😂

by
EN
Photo of the Chapter 1 of The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy The story so far: In the beginning the Universe was created. This has made a lot of people very angry and been widely regarded as a bad move. Post by Dunwall: this is my favourite quote ever
18
219

Just like Sisyphus, you have to imagine writers being happy 😜😂

by
EN
Post by Coyote JM Edwards So, let me get this straight. We're supposed to write, read, edit, proofread, format our books; make ads, maintain social media accounts, run blogs and newsletters, make fancy graphics; read other books and study writing - and still have time to write more books? Reply by Ben Winter You forgot the crying. So much crying.
4
136

This makes me wonder if this is where Douglas Adams character Drik Gently got his chatchpharse "Everything's connected" from, and not as implied the general interconnectedness of all things 🤔 😂

by
EN
That feeling when it’s time to put all the pieces of your story together: Photo of Matthew Mcconaughey form True Detective captioned as 'Writers' looking at a table of filled with pictures captioned with writing tropes.
0
12

The new iPhone is impressive

by
EN
65
259

What do you do if you find this grimoire in your crush's room?

by
EN
51
144

If you're using Word to write a book, I'm surprised you haven't already thrown yourself out a window 😜😂

by
EN
Post by Kate Writers at the beginning of a project: wow all I wan to do is bring the story of my heart to life! At the end: if I have to look at this word doc for one more second I'm going to thrrow my laptop out of the window....
2
28

Consensus: 100%. Accuracy: 0%

by
EN
0
-1
2

Disagree 🤔 I mean it would be easier without all that writing but it's also the only requirement for being a writer 😁

by
EN
Post by Andrew Nadeau me: I’m a writer him: what do you write? me: haha, tha—that’s not how it works
0
17

I'm pretty sure that's not what the Doctor meant

by
EN
Two photo meme 1: A quote on a wall, "You want weapons? We're in a library! Books! The best weapons in the world! -Doctor Who" 2: Photo of John Wick using a book to split someone's skull open.
1
76

That should tell you everything you need to know about who was the real beast after all 😂

by
EN
[Watching Beauty and the Beast] Gaston: *snatches book away from Belle* My 10-year-old daughter: *gasps* He lost her page!!!
2
78

I think Ashley has the potential to write some really great revenge fiction 😜😂

by
EN
Post by StoriesToldByAshley Therapist: What do we do when we're sad? Author: Base your characters off of the people that upset you and brutally kill them all off. Therapist: No Author: *starts writing in notebook*
3
67

I have this on a t-shirt, that's where my sweet style comes from 😜😂

by
EN
Photo of Moss from The IT Crowd TV show. Caption: "I like being weird. Weird's all I've got. That and my sweet style."
2
31

Link to another Bored Panda post about Delusions Of Adequacy where I post things people don't want to hear on Reddit 😂

by
EN

Link to another Bored Panda post about Delusions Of Adequacy where I post things people don't want to hear on Reddit 😂

0
-5

The Bubble Pops

by
EN
3
39

Is it just me or should it be make HAPPY head voice louder?

by
EN
Meme photo of a caricature reading. Caption: Stare shapes on dead tree make sad head voice louder.
2
9

I'm taking suggestions for books with sarcastic piece of trash characters 😁

by
EN
me: this character is a sarcastic little nasty piece of trash friend: so you hate him? me: no that’s my favorite character
7
38

If the Dark Lord can make time for his hobbies then so can you 😁

by
EN
Post by Ecuadorable It's sweet how Sauron wants to rule all creatures and bring darkness to all Middle Earth but he also takes some time out of his wretched schedule to write a little poem and engrave it in home-made jewelry. We all need a hobby is what I'm saying.
3
117

It is great, most of the time 😂

by
EN
Stranger: It must be great to be a fantasy author. You can write whatever you want. Me, rewriting 1/4 of my narrative because my characters live too far apart: Yeah, Great.
2
42

What's that old saying again, 'Write high, edit drunk?

by
EN
Photo of cannabis and a painting of Shakespear captioned: Forensic analysis found cannabis residue in clay pipes excavated from Shakespeare's garden. Reply by omeo: ain’t no sober person writing a damn sonnet
5
112

It would be a S.H.A.M.E. if Drump renames lake Ontario

by
EN
1
-11

I mean I really thought no one loved the spectacluar Plains of Procrastination in the super-comfy Lands of Laziness more than me, but I guess this little hobbit is going on an adventure 😂

by
EN
Post by Gabino Iglesias Monthly reminder: Many people have a book in them, but it takes a special kind of freak to leave the Land of Laziness, cross the Plains of Procrastination and Insecurity Mountain, find the Blade of No One Made You Do This, and use it to cut your chest open and yank that book out.
5
50

Fun with edu-fuckin-cation, am I doing it right?

by
EN
Post by @matchatia This was the most valuable information I learned at UCLA: Photo of a presentation: All Spoken Language has Rules! fanTAstic -> fan fuckin tastic Rule: 'fucking can be inserted only before a stressed syllable
17
160

As a big fan of both Trek and Discworld, I support the flawless logic of this crossover 😜😂

by
EN
A meme from the bridge of Star Trek the original series, with Great A'Tuin showing on the viewscreen Caption: "GET SPOCK UP HERE! I can't wait to see his face!"
5
55

I need to see the rewritten version of this poem 😂

by
EN
A drawn picture of Edgar Allen Poe and his Raven. Caption: The Passive Agressive Raven Speech bubble from the Raven saying, 'Nevermind.'
2
55

Lifehack!

by
EN
A sign in what seems like an employee bathroom saying: "All Employees Must Stop Crying Before Returning to Work"
3
87

I'm a combo of Neutral Good, Chaotic Neutral, and Lawful Evil, a little bit of everything 🤔 Nerds are gonna nerd I guess 😂

by
EN
Nerd Alignment Chart LAWFUL GOOD: Science Nerds NEUTRAL GOOD: Book Nerds CHAOTIC GOOD: Theatre/Art/Music Nerds LAWFUL NEUTRAL: Math Nerds TRUE NEUTRAL: History Nerds CHAOTIC NEUTRAL: D&D/Gamer Nerds LAWFUL EVIL: Computer Nerds NEUTRAL EVIL: Sports Nerds CHAOTIC EVIL: Anime Nerds
7
38

What happens when the grammar police inevitably gets corrupted?

by
EN
Photo of two women dressed up as cops with the line, 'Grammar Police: To Serve and Correct.'
8
59

It's SilentSunday now you know what to do 😁

by
EN
Meme with four photos captioned 'How to Read a Book' Scarface movie: Clear the room. Candy: Obtain healthy snack Fantasy bed: Find a comfortable spot. Misery movie: Be ready for distractions.
1
29

Vote Orcha!

by
EN
Meme with a photo of two orchas. Caption: I took one of those "I side with" political tests and it said I align politically with those orcas that keep sinking yachts.
2
88

Well, I don't know about "Best Book", but it's at least in the running for "Best Book Dedication" 😂

by
EN
Photo of a dedication in a book. "I want to thank everyone who helped me create this book, except for that guy who yelled at me in Kmart when I was eight because he thought I was being “too rowdy.” -You're an asshole, sir" Caption: BEST BOOK EVER
3
47

The worst is when I can remember having an idea, but not what it was 😂

by
EN
Photo of a man looking like he's in a gameshow. Me: I don't need to write this brilliant idea for my story I just had down, I'll remember ... and then I didn't.
3
47

Happy reading!

by
EN
Meme with five photos of a man looking increasingly ecstatic. Captions: 1: You start a new book 2: You're off the next day 3: All chores and errands are done; and there's leftovers in the fridge 4: The blanket is warm 5: All of the sudden starts raining and there's thunder in the distance
❤️
1
10
157

Sneak peak of opening quote of chapter six of The Last Philosopher: Part Two 😁

by
EN
Morning meeting in Pentakl “Life is too long to pretend to like the people you work with.” -Lyeasrakardsul, headmaster of Dalmicir magick, member of the council of sorcerers, master of the cult of some, keeper of the archives, chronicler of visions, and chastiser of sorclings
1
-1

If there's a better way I'm listening 😂

by
EN
Person: how does writing work? Writer: well you type & you delete. You rethink. Then you do 187 min of research & correct it. You reread & wonder if you have a grasp of English. Then you revise Person: then you're done with the book? Writer: then you move to the next sentence
4
108

Puntastic!

by
EN
"Will you marry me?” Is a marriage proposal. "Will, You, Mary, Me" is a foursome proposal. "Will, you marry me" is a time traveler spoiling the future. "Will you, Mary me" is a cavewoman trying to make Will, who has amnesia remember who he is.
3
93

I'm saying he IS right, and I understand!

by
EN
Mugshot of an elderly man in glasses. Caption: MAN ARRESTED AFTER BREAKING INTO A BARNES AND NOBLE AT MIDNIGHT TO FINISH A BOOK HE HAD BEEN READING IN-STORE FOR FOUR CONSECUTIVE DAYS AND NEEDED TO RESOLVE BEFORE SLEEPING Reply by Matt "I'm not saying he's right, but I understand"
4
190

A confusing life

by
EN
9
149

Does thinking of cool ways to kill the multiverse count?

by
EN
Photo of a woman looking menacing holding a butcher's knife. Caption: "If you've ever spent any measurable amount of time considering "cool" ways to kill people... You're probably an author" ~Harry Widdifield
2
18

If I'm going to get all author fancy and put a double initial in my name, it's going to be C

by
EN
Post byJohn Cole A friend got his employment reviews back and was told he was performing with "calculated mediocrity" and I think that is the most amazing phrase.
19
170

Everything's more fun if it's a vice!

by
EN
Post by love drops My best tip for anyone trying to get back into reading is to remember that you can read books to avoid other responsibilities in your life, and it can become a vice if you play your cards right.
11
210

[Microblog] Worth it!

by
EN
Photo of some guys doing YMCA with a painting of the cruxifiction. Caption: A ticked to hell has never been funnier
10
116

Hup!

by
EN
2
120

What a mess: visitors step in peanut butter floor - DutchNews.nl

by
EN

Visitors have already stepped on the infamous peanut butter floor, less than a week after it opened in Rotterdam.

23
40

Now I want Eldritch Horror, I want to glimpse the infinite complexity that will turn to madness

by
EN
Post by bramblesand People, especially games, get eldritch madness wrong a lot and it’s really such a shame. An ant doesn't start babbling when they see a circuit board. They find it strange, to them it is a landscape of strange angles and humming monoliths. They may be scared, but that is not madness. Madness comes when the ant, for a moment, can see as a human does. It understands those markings are words, symbols with meaning, like a pheromone but infinitely more complex. It can travel unimaginable distances, to lands unlike anything it has seen before. It knows of mirth, embarrassment, love, concepts unimaginable before this moment, and then... It's an ant again. Echoes of things it cannot comprehend swirl around its mind. It cannot make use of this knowledge, but it still remembers. How is it supposed to return to its life? The more the ant saw the harder it is for it to forget. It needs to see it again, understand again. It will do anything to show others, to show itself, nothing else in this tiny world matters. This is madness.
2
35

With apologies to all the poetry lovers out there, but

by
EN
Post by LilJonson I have bad anxiety and one point I got prescribed Xanax. Without the anxiety, all of a sudden I felt like a different person. I was doing things I never did, like I started writing poetry. thats when I got off the meds because I'd rather have crippling anxiety than write poetry.
4
109

Party guys

by
EN
5
89

When someone asks, "What is it?

by
EN
Photo of a bookself with a sign saying, "Mystery" and all the books around with the title towards the shelf. Caption: Well played, bookstore, well played.
3
82

[Microblog] “I must not grammar

by
EN
Four panel meme frim the Dune movie where Paul is being tested with pain. 1: Remove the hand from the box and you will die. 2: What's in the box? 3: A misspelled word in your published book. 4: *Paul clutching his hand and crying*
2
37

So, does this mean that in the postmodern era the Author is God?

by
EN
Conflicts in literature A nine panel meme aranged in three categoreis (accompanied by Daffy Duck cartoons) Classical: Man vs Nature, Man vs Man, Man vs God Modern: Man vs Society, Man vs Self, Man vs No god Postmodern: Man vs Tech, Man vs Reality, Man vs Author
4
34

Feedback is precious, and honest feedback doubly so

by
EN
Post by Bradford Pearson Just talked to a class of sixth-graders and one of them asked "If someone else wrote your book and you read it, would you still think it was good?" and I felt the room start to spin...
2
126

I wouldn't say I hyperfixated, but Lord of the Rings was my first in a long line of fantasy crushes 😁

by
EN
Post by trish fuck ur zodiac sign, what book series did u hyperfixate on when u were growing up because u projected an escape fantasy into that world as an alternative to ur suburban life
41
104

Incentives

by
EN
2
54

I'm not generally a fan of short stories but this I like 😂

by
EN
Post by Molly Hodgdon His kiss was slow, but firm and unyielding like an old man backing his Lincoln Town Car over a handicapped parking sign.
3
156

I mean, I get it, it should be the other way around because Koontz is better than King 🤔😁

by
EN
Post by geeky steven - Abortion is a right When I worked at a bookstore, I learned that when an author like Dean Koontz signs his books, their resale value goes up. I also learned that when an author like Stephen King signs Dean Koontz's books, the price goes even higher and that Dean Koontz is not amused by this.
8
141

I need the pattern for this ASAP

by
EN
67
1.3k

Is all writing paradoxical, or do I just have serious lack of 'Times'?

by
EN
Dickens: It was the best of times, it was the worst of times. Schrödinger: Nice.
1
21

I never knew reading could trick me into loving myself, what can't it do!

by
EN
Post: Its unreal how all of my favorite characters have exactly the same traits and hobbies and diagnoses as me. Reply: oh, have you been tricked into loving yourself? Reply: oh my fucking god is that what just happened
2
60

A delegation from South Africa met a delegation from Lesotho...

by
EN

One by one, the delegates were introduced to each other, but one particular individual caused a lot of confusion - Lesotho’s Minister for Oceans and Fisheries.

0
14

Do what you can and jump straight to acceptance 😁

by
EN
Comic with a couple reading in bed. Caption: THE FIVE STAGES OF GRIEVING FOR AN OVERAMBITIOUS READING RESOLUTION DENIAL: No, finishin a book every 2,7 days is not absurd! ANGER: Why are all these books so long!! BARGAINING: If you read a book and tell me about it, that counts, right? DEPRESSION: All joy has fled, yet my failure persists! ACCEPTANCE: Being at one with the art is all that matters. And next year I'm going to be at one with so much more art!
0
13

You don't want to mess with this kind of criminal

by
EN
17
174

As far as I can tell whoever I choose I will be rescued, so the real question is who do I most want to hang out with 🤔😁 And that is a toss up between ...

by
EN
Nine characters from Terry Pratchett's Discworld with the caption, "You've been kidnapped. You can only call one person here to rescue you."
8
9

Therapist (Mitchell & Webb)

by
EN
Video Thumbnail
0
2

Tech support for grandma

by
EN

0
32

Draw!

by
EN
5
212

The book nerd commandments: 1

by
EN
A meme captioned 'Book Sniffers Anonymous' Side by side photos of two people sniffing books. Fake Dictionary entry: book sniff-ing [boo k] [snif-ing] verb 1. breathing in the scent of a book: often done in secret 2. how book nerds get high
6
48

Eww, no thanks, to people and self-help books 😜😁

by
EN
Two panel meme of a cat reading a book and looking shocked. Title: Introverts reading self-help books 1: "Surrond yourself with people who- 2: Surround myself with people??
2
155

Dumbest Tik Tok Challenges

by
EN
Screenshot of a Meme post on the DeTikTok Reddit community, the challenges include: Bright Eye Challenge "Throw It In the Air" Challenge Corn Drill Challenge Glue Challenge Morning After Pill Cereal Challenge Tanning Nasal Spray Cha Cha Slide Challenge Penny Challenge and many more
2
5

Meta's Employee Retention Strategy

by
EN
Screenshot from Reddit r/DeMeta post: Meta's Employee Retention Strategy As a former employee, I can share that Meta uses a "3-T" system to retain their talented and passionate employees: Traumatize, Threaten, & Terminate. Traumatize: through long work hours, Al replacement, and eroding the moral fabric of society Threaten: through surveillance, mass layoffs, and fake ass performance reviews Terminate: in this stage, the employee is dropped through a trap door in the floor, where they are fed to the secret AL Hivemind God that lives down there. He is a hungry guy! Personally, I'm thankful that my trap door glitched out and I managed to escape. I'l be chilling in Iceland next month. Thanks for coming to my Ted Talk
1
24
1

As an adult man who grew up on Grunge, I'd like to say I fully support and endorse the Nirvana clothing brand 😂

by
EN
Post by Karly Kraemer I personally encourage everyyoung girl wear t-shirts for bands they've never listened to just because it makes adult men angry. Say things like “nirvana is my favorite clothing brand” just because.
50
309

Time Machine [ExtraFabulous]

by
EN

0
41

Reading is an act of rebellion whether it's legal or not 😁

by
EN
Drawn image of a woman carrying a stack of books with '1984' falling of the top. Caption: READ! While it is still legal.
3
80

He looks great

by
EN
54
284
1

An intruder!

by
EN
2
118

Shopping with the lady

by
EN
67
562

White lies

by
EN
4
258

Glow-stick Island

by
EN
15
339

It may seem like it, but buying things just for the sake of buying them is not happiness

by
EN
A six panel comic by Tom Gauld with a little man sitting infront of his laptop. 1: YOUR ORDER HAS BEEN RECEIVED! 2: YOUR ITEM HAS BEEN DISPATCHED! 3: YOUR PACKAGE HAS BEEN DELIVERED! 4: YOUR BOOK HAS BEEN NEGLECTED: LEFT ON THE SHELF, UNREAD AND FORGOTTEN, GATHERING DUST FOR SEVERAL MONTHS. 5: The little man looks concerned. 6: YOUR ORDER HAS BEEN RECEIVED!
0
21

Let's have a good, clean fight.

by
EN
9
208

Now I personally haven't watched a lot of PBS

by
EN
Meme with a elements from PBS shows in the background overwritten with the caption: PBS didn't "become woke." You grew up to be a bad person.
8
319

Make sure you're always prepared

by
EN
0
100

Optimism

by
EN
3
138

People always say you shouldn't rush growing up, so I'm saving my adulthood for when they put me in the incinerator 😜😂

by
EN
Post by ohsalome: Me, aged 14, reading Tolkien: Hobbits are considered chuldren until they are 30? How funky! Fantasy worldbuilding! This is so different from us humans! Me, aged 25: Oh i get it now Reply by roguebelle: Me, aged 34: Actually the Hobbits might be rushing things a bit.
5
140

Delivery!

by
EN
2
90

Then and now

by
EN
12
441

There will be no stops along the way.

by
EN
9
138

We're not gonna be easy either

by
EN
14
168

Gymrat

by
EN
0
201

Glyptodon

by
EN
2
181

The family business

by
EN
2
141

That sounds made up, but I'm not a doctor so I'll allow it 😁 But I'm wondering if anyone knows what this disease is called?

by
EN
Post by Louise Jensen Duffy So, a lot of people ask me why I buy so many books. The truth is, I have a genetic disorder where my body doesn’t produce enough books of its own, so I have to supplement.
1
115